This is the first time that the NFL has been in cahoots with a restaurant chain, conjuring new dishes with football names. You may have seen IHOP's TV commercials featuring Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb and Arizona Cardinals receiver Larry Fitzgerald, oh, about 10,000 times. IHOP isn't reinventing breakfast, just cutting French toast in the shape of a football.

Here's the blueprint: French toast made with cinnamon-raisin bread, stuffed with vanilla cream, topped with cream-cheese icing and sitting on a bed of fruit topping ... except the topping is on the bottom.

The AFC Stuffed French Toast has cool strawberries on the bottom (red for the AFC), while the NFC Stuffed French Toast nests on warm blueberry compote (blue for the NFC). Like most Super Bowls, the AFC is favored.

Normally, here's where I give the nutritional information — you know, calories, fat grams, fiber and carbs — or what we call these numbers in the drive-thru: the bad news. But since IHOP's Gone Totally NFL items are limited-time-only, available for less than 60 days, IHOP isn't obliged to crunch the numbers for consumers. It's a weird rule. I guess lawmakers aren't worried about consumers getting hooked on LTOs.

But I am the stomach of experience, and I've dealt with IHOP's normal-shaped Stuffed French Toast, so I have a handle on the numbers ... give or take a notch in your belt.

I'm putting the total calories at: 1,470 (including two eggs, hash browns and bacon or sausage). Fat grams: 76. Carbs: 153 grams. Dietary fiber: 8 grams (although there's nothing dietary about this breakfast). Manufacturer's suggested retail price: around $6.99 (give or take .99) for the whole breakfast, or $4.99 for just the NFL Stuffed French Toast.

NFL Stuffed French Toast starts with a hefty slice of cinnamon-raisin bread, about 2 inches thick. Inside is a gooey glop of sweet-cream filling. Think Hostess cupcakes. The bread is splish-splashed in an egg-milk mixture and tossed on a flat grill. Then cream-cheese icing is squiggled on, resembling the laces on a football. Despite appearances, tell your kids not to play with their food.

The french toast is plopped on a bed of chilled red ripe strawberries, representing the American Football Conference, or warm blueberry compote for the National Football Conference.

Obviously, when you get the full IHOP roster, with eggs, hash browns and bacon or sausage, it's a calorie-and-fat-gram blowout. They even run up the carbs. But if you want to keep the score close, order just the french toast. I'm placing the Las Vegas spread at 450 calories and 14 fat grams.

The final score is ... this french toast is pretty fantastically delicious. The cinnamon toast is loaded with raisins and cinnamon swirls. French toast is an all-pro breakfast by itself. When you inject sweet-cream filling in the middle and throw cream-cheese icing and fruit on top and bottom, you have a big-time winner.

The rest of the breakfast is strong. Here's the Hail Mary: Order your eggs scrambled, plus the hash browns and bacon. Then cut the french toast in half, and make one humongous sandwich of everything on your plate. OK, that's about a 1,500-calorie sandwich, but it's one heck of a handful.

The other NFL breakfasts are: NFL Blueberry Banana Blitz — two buttermilk pancakes filled with blueberries, then topped with more blueberries, sliced bananas and whipped cream. Served by itself, or you can pile on eggs, hash browns and bacon or sausage. AFC Strawberry Banana Blitz — same deal, with strawberries subbing for blueberries. MVP Quarterback Scramble — a big mess of scrambled eggs packed with diced sausage, chopped bacon, hash browns, diced jalapenos, cheddar cheese and a jigger of buttermilk pancake batter. Served with two pancakes on the side. Veteran Quarterback Scramble — eggs with sliced sausage, hash browns, cheddar and a jigger of pancake batter. Served with two pancakes. Rookie Quarterback Scramble — eggs mixed with fresh spinach, hash browns, cheddar and a jolt of pancake batter. Served with two pancakes. Draft Pick Quarterback Scramble — lighter fare, with egg substitute mixed with spinach, onions, roasted tomatoes and a sprinkle of Parmesan cheese. Served with a side of fresh fruit or whole-wheat toast.

The IHOP's Gone Totally NFL promotion gets sacked on Oct. 26.